Opinions

Opinions are funny, aren't they?  We all have them, and we all think that the certain one's that we hold are somehow correct.  It doesn't matter what they are on, but if we have an opinion then we know we are, by no stretch of the imagination, right.
This concept has been on my mind a lot lately, and not because I have been thinking that I am right about everything, actually the opposite.  I have realized recently, through a lot of different conversations, my opinions do not matter at all.  Sure, they matter to me, and they should...I have them for a reason, right?  But, why should they matter to anyone else?  Why would I make them matter to anyone else?  That's what we do, all humans really, we make/force our opinions on other people.

I recently have been thinking about this a lot because I held a Spirituality Night for my community (something that we, as a JVC Community, have to do every week) in which we all shared our opinions on certain controversial topics.  I did this because I didn't know everyone's opinions in the house.  I thought this was pretty important, because we are called to love each other regardless and I began to realize what if someone that I live with has opinions that are radically different than mine?  I discovered that we all have different takes on things, but they weren't super different.  Which is a good thing, I guess.  Plus it wasn't so surprising since we all work and live together pretty cohesively.

However, something I noticed was that we all wanted our voices heard.  At least I know I did.  No one really backed down on expressing themselves and making sure everyone clearly knew where they stood on certain issues, this made me notice how things are expressed everyday in my life.  When topics come up, whether controversial or menial, we all have this proclivity to make sure we are heard in some way or another.  Even if the person is more inclined to be non-confrontational, they still make a point to express their opinion.
This made me think, what if you couldn't voice your opinion?  What if you physically couldn't or due to a law or way of living, you were not allowed to have the world hear how you feel about certain issues?

I have learned a lot this privilege.  One privilege I never thought I would ever really think about is the fact that I am able to express my opinions freely and openly, to anyone who could most likely not care at all.  I can talk until I am blue in the face about how I feel about TV Shows, movies, actors/actresses, politics, racism, gay marriage, and religion all I want.  All of which I do, quite frequently, because I mainly like the sound of my own voice.  I never thought what it could possibly be like to not have this privilege, and it's something that, I truly hope, I will never take advantage of again.

"You Can't Pray Away the Gay"

I'm not sure why I have posted so much about religion basically every single time...probably because I deal with it on a daily basis and it is pretty relevant in my life.  However, today I can't really avoid it and I don't really wish to avoid it.  If I was still a college student who wrote an opinions column for my school newspaper I would be writing about this, but unfortunately I had to graduate so I am going to write/bitch about it here.

I woke up this morning and like every 20 something slave to social media I checked out my Facebook and Twitter only to find something very disconcerting about my alma mater, Saint Joseph's University.  SJUs Alumni Association has been hosting a contest throughout the last few weeks for Valentine's Day entitled "How I Met My Hawkmate".  Hawkmates are two SJU alums who are married.  Adorable, right?
The contest asks that hawkmates send in their picture with the story of how they met at SJU.  The picture with the most likes gets a $100 gift card to a restaurant of their choice.  Not too shabby.

Meg Edwards and her fiance, Katie MacTurk, submitted their picture to the Alumni Association to enter in the contest.  When their picture was not posted the couple gave the organization a call, only to find out that the Alumni Association did not think it would be appropriate given the fact that the school is a Catholic institution and the Catholic Church's stance on gay marriage and homosexuality.  Meg Edwards posted a note on her Facebook about her outrage and was shared over 300 times.  The incident was then posted on blogs and NBC news immediately.
Here is an example: http://jezebel.com/rights-and-rites/

During my time at SJU I was introduced to a lot of diverse opinions and stances on issues.  I was always proud, though, to be a part of a school that supported and loved each of it's students.  Despite being a Catholic university it has very liberal stances, like all other things Jesuit.  I learned more about gay rights and fighting prejudices during my time at SJU than any other point in my life.  Hence why I was so shocked, and ashamed of this decision to not post the picture.  I understand the Church's stance.  I recognize that, even though as a Roman Catholic I do not agree with it.  However, while to many it might not be surprising that a Catholic school would rule this way, to those that attended SJU know this does not fit SJU's personality.  Students and faculty at SJU work really hard to fight injustices.  I thought it was really moving to see my fellow alums stand up and fight and show their outrage at the decision.
Within a few hours and hundreds of Facebook postings the Alumni Association posted the picture.  However, it was a little too late.

I guess it shows a larger issue of the public opinion on gays.  In a day and age where there has been progression, there is still so much prejudice holding us back.  As a Roman Catholic it does hurt that my religion is not accepting to everyone equally.  I find myself trying to make excuses for both sides, and not being gay I don't know how to word my disappointment and frustration to those who illustrate ignorance, bigotry, and hatred.  All I can think to say is that "aren't we called to love everyone? aren't we called to care for others? aren't we called to treat everyone equally, with dignity and respect? what makes one's sexual orientation so different?"  Unfortunately, I don't have stories of prejudice and discrimination I do not know what a lesbian or a gay man faces on a daily basis.  I do, however, have friends who I care for and love that face these challenges, and my heart breaks for them.

For awhile I struggled with how to express my frustration and then I got an idea from a really unlikely source...Grey's Anatomy.  I know, kinda lame of me.  However, I think this scene accurately expresses my sentiment.  In the clip Callie, a bisexual, gets a visit from her father who disowned her after she came out to him.  Her father is a devout Catholic and does not approve of his daughter's "lifestyle".  He comes back to "make amends", but mostly to have his daughter talk to a Catholic priest and "pray away the gay".

The acting and writing in this scene is just brilliant.
When I first saw it I remember having this feeling rush over me like "of course".  That is the perfect way to fight this bigotry.  The simple fact that Jesus calls us to love, the simple fact that "Jesus is my savior".  It's just so beautiful and simple.

No matter what your religion or beliefs are...can you really argue with that simple point?  Can you honestly say you are a Christian and say that you do not believe in gay rights?  Can you honestly believe that you can simply pray away the gay?


After backlash the university posted the picture and it currently has 1,027 "likes".  I wonder if SJU will end up giving the couple the $100 gift card?  They also posted this comment:
‎"Saint Joseph’s University fully supports and is in agreement with the Catholic Church’s teachings regarding homosexuality and same sex marriage. 


As a Catholic, Jesuit university, Saint Joseph’s is a welcoming, inclusive community. Our focus is on respect and caring for all individuals as individuals."

Jesus and Religion. The Debate

There is currently a video that has made its way to my Facebook, Twitter, and about every other social networking site on the web.  No it's not the "Shit that _______ Say" videos, even those too have infected every aspect of my social media.  Instead the video I am referencing is something that flew in under the radar and all of a sudden became a big deal...at least for those in the Christian realm of things.
This is the video:

First of all, I have this new thing where I'm a big fan of poetry/spoken word.  So I just want to say: completely not looking at the subject matter, I loved how this was written.

Moving on...

When I first saw people posting about this video it was all in a negative context or people making fun of it.  I didn't watch the video I was just going by other peoples responses and decided that I wasn't going to like it.  After all I am a born, raised, and proud Catholic so by all understanding of the definition:  I am religious.  I like my religion.  This video should really bother me.

That brings me to the other set of people who posted this video simply saying that they love it, or agree with it.  Suddenly I found myself confused.  I didn't know whether to watch the video or not; let it become some video trend that I am just too cool to partake.  

One morning a musician I knew of and am a big fan of (Andrew Belle, since I know how curious you all were) posted the video saying "this pretty much sums it all up".  No one was around, and I was bored so I decided to watch the video.  As much as I figured I should  be upset with the video- I wasn't.  In fact, I found myself nodding along with a lot of it and agreeing.  I was torn, because this was muddying the waters of my nice pick and choose of religion that I have been doing the past few years.

By pick and choose religion I mean that I am a Catholic who does not agree with the Catholic Church on several huge issues...aka gay rights, and right to life issues.  While I do not agree with the Church's stance on these issues, I do enjoy every other aspect of Catholicism, and can honestly say that being a Catholic has been such a huge factor in my life and I cannot imagine not being a part of the religion.

I love Jesus though, and I agree that Jesus would not be in favor with the way a lot of churches (regardless of their denomination) are run.  There is so much corruption and sin riddling churches, it is frustrating.  Despite how much good the Catholic Church is capable of doing...it is flawed, just like any human invention.  

The line in the video that struck so much with me would have to be the "if Jesus came to your church, would he be let in?"

Earlier this year I read the book "Searching for God Knows What" by Donald Miller and he describes how Jesus, if he were to come back today he would be an ugly dude, living on the street hanging out with drug addicts, alcoholics and prostitutes.  So if someone like that came to your church, honestly, how would he be treated?  Probably not very well, which is a shame.  These are the people Jesus calls us to love and to serve.  These are the ones that Jesus has told us will be first in the Kingdom.

However, where would we be without religious institutions?  Hasn't God also called us to invest in a community?  I did some research to find a good Catholic response, and the best I found was by this priest.  

I think this sums it up really nicely.

See, I understand and am also frustrated with how broken and damaged religion is.  I have had to deal with so many personal issues with that.  I will be honest, I flip-flop on these issues...I pick and choose even though I know I shouldn't.  

I love Jesus, and I love His teachings, but I also practice as best as I can what I believe in.  I love my religion and I love what my religion has done for me, but I also do not agree and approve of the sins that my religion has committed.  

So I guess that it my stance on the issue.  I love Jesus and (for the most part) love my religion.

ReO and other things...

This past weekend was spent just twenty minutes away at the Fatima Renewal Center in Dalton, PA.  JVs from all over the East Coast came for what is called "reOrientation".  The five day retreat was focused on our JV value "social justice", a term that is hard to relate to here in Scranton...or so I thought.  It begs the question that I've been asking myself for the past week: where do we limit our social justice to?  How come we can show so much empathy to an emaciated child in Africa (rightfully so I must add), but we find it difficult to show similar empathy to someone steps away from that situation in the United States?  Shouldn't we be fighting these issues everywhere?  Does it have to be those who suffer from Urban issues?  What about those suffering in the suburbs?  Do we ignore those?

Sitting at the retreat there were so many people telling heartbreaking stories of their JVC experience so far and the work they are doing.  Then, there was me.  Running a youth group for some kids in a working class neighborhood.  None of my students are starving.  None of them are homeless.  Are there issues not as serious as someone suffering in New York City?
I'm guilty of not giving them the attention that the deserve, I must say.  I have ignored their issues and chalked them up to high school drama...but their issues are real.  Their problems exist and deserve my attention.  

Where did these lines of social justice come from?  

We assume our neighbors are fine.  We pass judgments on their economic standings and their family life.  Do we really know what personal crosses on person is carrying on their back?  No. We don't.  That's the simple answer.  We never know for sure.  

Empathy might begin in an urban setting, but it ends right in your own community.

Musings on Scranton thus far

When I moved to Scranton, PA this year to begin my year of service as a Jesuit Volunteer I expected many things. I expected to be challenged in ways that I'd never imagined. I expected weekly, if not daily, references to "The Office". I expected to hear about the history of Scranton's once booming coal mining industry. I expected trains, because it is, after all, the electric city. I did not expect the amount of hills we would be surrounded by, which has provided a challenge for my out of shape self as I walk around. I did not expect Poor Richards from Office fame to be placed in a bowling alley. I did not expect to find people with faith that could move mountains. I did not expect to meet my neighbors and find out that they are refugees from Bhutan. I did not expect that there is a right and wrong way to Scranton, and there is even a Scranton accent. I also did not expect our best friends here in Scranton to be a group of IHM nuns (well, honestly, who saw that one coming?) I'm not sure if this means that I set the bar too high or too low for this year. Maybe this just means that this year, thus far, has been beyond my wildest expectations. With about another 7 months to go on this journey I know that I shouldn't "expect" anything. I should know that this small, struggling city has a big enough heart that can warm even the biggest of cynics. I'm a little jaded with my New York City ways and tendencies to judge everything, but I must say with a full and gracious heart: I love Scranton. I love the hills. I love my different but amazing neighborhood. I love Scranton accents. I love nuns! To be quite honest I don't think I would have met this city with the open arms that I have if I didn't have the loving, honest, sometimes tedious, support of my community members in my house. Among all of my expectations for this year the one expectation I had this year that was accurate was that I would have roommates that would challenge and inspire me. These roommates would come to be my family and best friends over the course of the year. I did not expect this to happen through game nights with nuns though (once again, who honestly saw that one coming?) but it did, and I couldn't be more pleasantly surprised with this year and the city if Scranton because of it. -Candidly Catherine

Location:Moosic St,Scranton,United States

Not Enough Days/Hours/Weeks

There never seems to be enough time, ever, does there?  It's a common phrase that you hear come out of the mouths of those who are stressed, over worked, and not many options.  They need to get things done, they need more time to accomplish everything.  This kind of feeling of searching for more time comes in waves usually.  When you're in college there just is never enough time around finals to study, finish all your papers, and participate in some fun activities.  When you're working there isn't enough time to work, to enjoy time with your family, and do little things with your life.  You could be unemployed and a hermit, and that feeling of searching for more hours in the day never ceases to come at some point.

December is a prime example of a month where there just simply are not enough days.  I blame Christmas.  Do not get me wrong, I love Christmas and the holidays.  I love the different events that happen around the season.  I love Christmas music.  I especially love that never ending cheer that everyone seems to be contagious around the holiday times.
However, it all seems so rushed.  Not just in the sense that we start prepping for Christmas around a few weeks before Halloween (which is annoying enough).  It is also the fact that our schedules are so packed from Thanksgiving right up until Christmas.  It is, as they say, the nature of the beast.  A blessing and a curse.

Thanksgiving happens, and then, suddenly, we have Christmas parties within the week after, and then we have to really finish up our Christmas shopping because all the sales have already passed (thanks Black Friday).  Then it is more Christmas parties.  Then we have to finish writing our Christmas cards and get them sent out, because how embarrassing would that be if you sent them out AFTER Christmas.  Faux pas, I dare say.  Then someone else invites you to a Christmas party, can't say no because it is the holidays after all.  Then you have to buy everything for the holiday party YOU are throwing.  Right after that there is a Christmas concert at a church that you're performing in (when there was time to learn how to master the hand bells is a great question, with no answer).  Then you have to go to the store and start buying baking supplies, because you remembered you have to make Christmas cookies for 50 people, even though they're already making their own Christmas cookies.

Suddenly, it is December 23rd and you have to go caroling with a youth group and watch Elf.  Oh, and you still have yet to get your father a Christmas present.

Clearly, I am overreacting to my own life. Also, I am overreacting because it is December 8th and I have tons of time.

However, I think I am being accurate in my predictions for how the rest of this week will go.  There is too much squeezed into 25 days.  Now, that I am thinking about it we have lost 8 days and now I only have 17 days.  That is basically two weeks.  Why should I even keep trying to keep up?  Plus, it snowed yesterday that is really going to slow me down.  Now, I basically have about a week to get everything I need to done.  Impossible.  I should just not try at all and eat some Christmas cookies that other people gave me.

Children, and buy children I mean anyone under the age of 22, because I am now old and at liberty to say this, simply do not understand this stress.  This time of the year is magical, filled with snowball fights, and Santa pictures, and toys.  If you're too cool for that (or in college) then you have stupid finals, which are stressful, but it's just some tests and papers...you get them done and then it's smooth sailing.
I would kill to have a final, because finals end, a semester ends and there is a fresh start in a month.  Plus, you get a month long break!  How awesome is that?  Now?  No breaks...it never ends.  It's like having a never ending course in college where the professor (God, or some other higher power that is clearly trying to destroy us all) just owns you.  Throwing pop quiz after pop quiz and there's no time to even prepare.

Okay, I'm a little cynical, but if you saw my calendar over the next few weeks...you'd feel my pain.

Activism, like totally trendy

I have a lot of peeves.  Really.  Ask anyone who has had a conversation with me, there are usually certain things that just bug me.  It's hard to pinpoint them all the time, because usually they just occur and all of a sudden I'll realize how much it bugs me, and I'll proceed to bitch about it.  The ironic thing about 75% of the things that I complain about on a regular basis is that I'm guilty of them.  I don't like it when kids in my youth group just put their headphones in when I'm trying to have a conversation with them.  However, whenever I travel anywhere with my family I have headphones in which requires my parents to repeat nearly everything that they say.  Whoops.  There are also some other things that I do that I hate when other people do, but naturally it is completely acceptable when I partake in these activities.  For instance, people who are just "trendy" and "hip" kinda bother me.  We get it, like you're super cool because you're fashionable and organic.  While that is pretty annoying, what's worse is when things that are used for social justice issues suddenly get thrusted in the spotlight and lose their purpose for being considered trendy or hip.
What happens here is that an organization will have a great product to either benefit those in need or to spread awareness.  Word spreads, as it should, but before you know it word has been passed on that the entire purpose of the product is lost.

An example of this is the organization To Write Love on Her Arms.  (info on TWLOHA can be found here)  The organization started out to help fund the rehabilitation costs for Renee Yohe.  T-shirts with her story and the logo "To Write Love on Her Arms" were sold and her story became known all over the country and then the world.  Once Renee had overcome her addictions the organization focused on spreading awareness for depression, and mental health issues.  Speaking tours and concerts were held and those who supported the cause attended.  Different shirts came out and continued to sell.  Selling these shirts online was not good enough, and the shirts began to sell in stores such as Hot Topic or Zumiez.  Suddenly, the purpose of the shirts and the activism for the cause began to fall short.  I wore a short one time and someone came up to me and said "man, I love that band".  Hmm...
A current item that people all over the world are loving are the popular shoes TOMS.  (info on TOMS can be found here) These shoes were created to provide shoes for a child in need.  Every pair of TOMS bought will give a pair of shoes to a child in need.  It's an awesome organization.  However, the "cuteness" of their shoes made them little more than the latest fashion must have.  Even so that designers have copied their style to only benefit them and not children in need.
Now, don't get me wrong...it's great that these organizations are gaining momentum and spreading the word on issues like mental health and poverty.  However, what happens when they go out of style?  Where  is the momentum going to be then?  Every trend eventually ends.  Social justice issues should not be used just as the latest trend or this years "in" item.  These organizations are fighting real issues.  There needs to be more information provided on these issues when they're sold, so those who purchase them know exactly what the issues are and how they can further help the cause other than buying a cute t-shirt or a trendy pair of shoes.
Look at the (RED) campaign that was sponsored by the Gap to help those affected by AIDS in Africa.  After the products they were selling became less trendy, everyone lost interest.  While organizations still promote the (RED) campaign in different ways, it is not nearly as talked about, and do not care nearly as much as they used to.

Of course, like all things that I dislike or complain about.  I am guilty of this.  I'm passionate about several social justice issues, but usually it is because something trendy came out that brought my attention to it.  I own several TWLOHA shirts, a pair of TOMS, a sweatshirt and watch from HelloSomebody (http://hello-somebody.com/), a beanie from Krochet Kids (http://www.krochetkids.org/), a few bracelets from some other places, and a bag or two from another place.  All of the products I bought because they were trendy and it was an added bonus that they helped some other people.  With the exception of TWLOHA I know very little about different organizations I have supported through my purchases.  What does that make me?  A monster?  No, at least I don't think so.  However, something else has to be done to bring further awareness and to continue supporting and fighting these issues, because those in need who rely on these organizations don't care about trendiness.  They don't care that the product is in fashion around the world or not.  They just need help, in any form.