Wait, Something Happened Ten Years Ago This Week?

I'm about to say something pretty crazy, and ya'll will probably severely judge me for what's about to be typed...but, really, if I have to see one more headline that discusses the ten year anniversary of 9/11 approaching this weekend, I will shoot myself.
Okay, maybe not shoot myself, but I will continue to get pissed as hell...as I have been lately.
Is this a little over dramatic?  Probably, but bear with me for a little bit.

So I am one of those ever so trendy people with an iPad and a smartphone.  Yes, so snobby of me, I know.  However, this also means that I am just 5 seconds and a tap away from the latest news, which normally is great. I find out all the latest world news.  Normally, when I read the news on my iPad I feel so intellectual.  Of course, I am...I am a college grad after all.

Instead of reading about the issues in Somalia, the current economic crisis in our own country, or who exactly hit Reese Witherspoon when she was jogging.  All that is being covered is different coverage of the ten year anniversary of 9/11.
How insensitive is this of me?  Rereading this I am slightly cringing that I am writing this, but it is actually how I feel and not just me trying to be controversial.  Is there something wrong with me for not wanting to hear the stories of different peoples take on that day?
I don't think I am a terrible person, to be honest.  I remember exactly where I was that day, just like any other person in the world that fateful day.  I was in 7th grade and a prime victim of what many have been calling the "9/11 generation".  I am from Northern New Jersey...a prime target for those that were deeply affected by the attacks on 9/11.  My father was in New York City that day.  I attended funerals, and memorial services.  Friends of mine were never the same.  People I know went off to fight the war on terror; a family friend left his new baby and wife behind, never to return from that war.
I have emotions for 9/11.  I have deep emotions that I have carried with me since that Tuesday morning that my guidance counselor pulled me out of gym class; emotions that I will carry with me for the rest of my life.  I know everyone has a story from that day.  Some stories are extremely courageous.  Some extremely sad.  Other stories are very mundane.  They saw the news, were very disturbed, but did not know anyone and were not severely affected.   While reading these stories can be encouraging, uplifting or inspirational...I have my own story.  I look upon that day with reverence and thanksgiving that my father and family was safe.  I also look upon that day and get the stereotypical feeling of nationalism that many have forgotten.  I felt united to my country, an emotion I have not felt since in my short lifetime.

While seeing these news stories remind me that my generation was so severely affected by 9/11 more than others: it is also unnecessary.  I know my "9/11 generation" missed out on the things that others before us had experienced and that we acclimated and became used to things that those after us never even knew about (traveling without TSA going crazy? without the name Bin Laden in our dictionary).
My generation grew up with bigotry towards the entire religion of Islam.  My generation pioneered a campaign of conspiracy theories about that 9/11.  (Seriously if you want 2 quick ways to piss me off...do one of those).  When we see the opening credits to old movies that highlight the NYC skyline and see the twin towers...we cringe a little bit.
Ten years after that day...I honestly do not need to be reminded of that pain.  I want to be reminded of that reverence and thanksgiving that I felt on that actual day.  I also, most importantly, want to be reminded of that patriotism I felt after that day: the unity and respect of my country.  As a nation, if all we are reporting on is the past, how are we showing that we have grown since 9/11?  We know how changed we are.  We know how bad that day was and the long term effects.  What have we done to keep that patriotism?  Are we even trying?

Almost eleven years ago this January a very dear and close family friend of mine, Ruth Lauto, died.  She was an older lady that we called Aunt Ruth and had an extreme passion for life.  She was, at 12 years old, my hero.  Everything about her life, I loved.  It was the highlight of my day being able to see her.  Her death was very sudden for me.  It rocked my twelve year old life.  I was never the same after that, and I never will be the same.  However, ten years later I look upon the life of my Aunt Ruth with a smile.  I remember her and my time with her fondly.
I refuse to dwell on her death.
I refuse to dwell on 9/11.

My life changed that day.  Everyone I know was changed.  Instead of taking this anniversary with grace, dignity and reverence we are playing the "woe is me" card as a nation.  Our news outlets and media are whining that the memorial planned at ground zero isn't good enough (which, I agree it really isn't).  The only thing being discussed is how much we have sucked over the past ten years and how much my generation has sucked and how much the war sucks and how much our bigotry against Islam sucks (basically, ten years later all we have seemed to do is suck...a lot). We are analyzing recordings from air traffic control and creating MORE conspiracy theories.  "Where are they now?" publications about children who lost parents in the tragedy are being published.
In true American fashion: everyone is making a buck out of the worst event in our generations time.
What happened to the reverence of that day?  What happened to the unity we had as Americans?

I will be spending this coming Sunday in a church, getting ready for religious education classes to begin, because that is my job.  I am attending a mass where there will be a moment of silence, and no doubt the homily will be focused around the events that occurred ten years ago.  I will pray for those that lost their lives that day.  I will remember being able to take a short drive and see the smoke cloud.  I will remember my mother's face as she told me what happened.  I will remember her voice as she answered countless phone calls from friends and family of my father wondering how he was/where he was.  I will remember attending a funeral for the father of a friend.
Then...I will smile.

On September 10th 2001, I think the 12 year old version of myself wanted to be some big shot writer.  Maybe the next JK Rowling.  Maybe write a screenplay. I don't know. I am pretty sure I just wanted to make a lot of money and live in one of the pretty mansions that covered the landscape of my small northern New Jersey town.
On September 10th 2011 I am writing from an old house in Scranton, PA in the midst of my year of service as a Jesuit Volunteer.  I am making under $100 per month.  I live in community with 4 other volunteers.  What does 22 year old me want to do with my life?  I can't fully answer that quite yet...but I know my main goal is that I want to make the world a better place.  I want to help others.  I am not sure how to accomplish that yet...but I know that is what I have wanted to do since September 12th, 2001.

That is how I have positively grown in these past ten years.
How has the United States positively grown?
Where are the news articles about that?

I may be pretty insensitive for writing this, I realize. However, I think we need some positiveness surrounding this weekend.
After all, I did just read an article on my iPad that the "9//11 generation" suffers high rates of depression and cynicism.