There never seems to be enough time, ever, does there? It's a common phrase that you hear come out of the mouths of those who are stressed, over worked, and not many options. They need to get things done, they need more time to accomplish everything. This kind of feeling of searching for more time comes in waves usually. When you're in college there just is never enough time around finals to study, finish all your papers, and participate in some fun activities. When you're working there isn't enough time to work, to enjoy time with your family, and do little things with your life. You could be unemployed and a hermit, and that feeling of searching for more hours in the day never ceases to come at some point.
December is a prime example of a month where there just simply are not enough days. I blame Christmas. Do not get me wrong, I love Christmas and the holidays. I love the different events that happen around the season. I love Christmas music. I especially love that never ending cheer that everyone seems to be contagious around the holiday times.
However, it all seems so rushed. Not just in the sense that we start prepping for Christmas around a few weeks before Halloween (which is annoying enough). It is also the fact that our schedules are so packed from Thanksgiving right up until Christmas. It is, as they say, the nature of the beast. A blessing and a curse.
Thanksgiving happens, and then, suddenly, we have Christmas parties within the week after, and then we have to really finish up our Christmas shopping because all the sales have already passed (thanks Black Friday). Then it is more Christmas parties. Then we have to finish writing our Christmas cards and get them sent out, because how embarrassing would that be if you sent them out AFTER Christmas. Faux pas, I dare say. Then someone else invites you to a Christmas party, can't say no because it is the holidays after all. Then you have to buy everything for the holiday party YOU are throwing. Right after that there is a Christmas concert at a church that you're performing in (when there was time to learn how to master the hand bells is a great question, with no answer). Then you have to go to the store and start buying baking supplies, because you remembered you have to make Christmas cookies for 50 people, even though they're already making their own Christmas cookies.
Suddenly, it is December 23rd and you have to go caroling with a youth group and watch Elf. Oh, and you still have yet to get your father a Christmas present.
Clearly, I am overreacting to my own life. Also, I am overreacting because it is December 8th and I have tons of time.
However, I think I am being accurate in my predictions for how the rest of this week will go. There is too much squeezed into 25 days. Now, that I am thinking about it we have lost 8 days and now I only have 17 days. That is basically two weeks. Why should I even keep trying to keep up? Plus, it snowed yesterday that is really going to slow me down. Now, I basically have about a week to get everything I need to done. Impossible. I should just not try at all and eat some Christmas cookies that other people gave me.
Children, and buy children I mean anyone under the age of 22, because I am now old and at liberty to say this, simply do not understand this stress. This time of the year is magical, filled with snowball fights, and Santa pictures, and toys. If you're too cool for that (or in college) then you have stupid finals, which are stressful, but it's just some tests and papers...you get them done and then it's smooth sailing.
I would kill to have a final, because finals end, a semester ends and there is a fresh start in a month. Plus, you get a month long break! How awesome is that? Now? No breaks...it never ends. It's like having a never ending course in college where the professor (God, or some other higher power that is clearly trying to destroy us all) just owns you. Throwing pop quiz after pop quiz and there's no time to even prepare.
Okay, I'm a little cynical, but if you saw my calendar over the next few weeks...you'd feel my pain.
Thursday, December 8, 2011
Monday, November 28, 2011
Activism, like totally trendy
I have a lot of peeves. Really. Ask anyone who has had a conversation with me, there are usually certain things that just bug me. It's hard to pinpoint them all the time, because usually they just occur and all of a sudden I'll realize how much it bugs me, and I'll proceed to bitch about it. The ironic thing about 75% of the things that I complain about on a regular basis is that I'm guilty of them. I don't like it when kids in my youth group just put their headphones in when I'm trying to have a conversation with them. However, whenever I travel anywhere with my family I have headphones in which requires my parents to repeat nearly everything that they say. Whoops. There are also some other things that I do that I hate when other people do, but naturally it is completely acceptable when I partake in these activities. For instance, people who are just "trendy" and "hip" kinda bother me. We get it, like you're super cool because you're fashionable and organic. While that is pretty annoying, what's worse is when things that are used for social justice issues suddenly get thrusted in the spotlight and lose their purpose for being considered trendy or hip.
What happens here is that an organization will have a great product to either benefit those in need or to spread awareness. Word spreads, as it should, but before you know it word has been passed on that the entire purpose of the product is lost.
An example of this is the organization To Write Love on Her Arms. (info on TWLOHA can be found here) The organization started out to help fund the rehabilitation costs for Renee Yohe. T-shirts with her story and the logo "To Write Love on Her Arms" were sold and her story became known all over the country and then the world. Once Renee had overcome her addictions the organization focused on spreading awareness for depression, and mental health issues. Speaking tours and concerts were held and those who supported the cause attended. Different shirts came out and continued to sell. Selling these shirts online was not good enough, and the shirts began to sell in stores such as Hot Topic or Zumiez. Suddenly, the purpose of the shirts and the activism for the cause began to fall short. I wore a short one time and someone came up to me and said "man, I love that band". Hmm...
A current item that people all over the world are loving are the popular shoes TOMS. (info on TOMS can be found here) These shoes were created to provide shoes for a child in need. Every pair of TOMS bought will give a pair of shoes to a child in need. It's an awesome organization. However, the "cuteness" of their shoes made them little more than the latest fashion must have. Even so that designers have copied their style to only benefit them and not children in need.
Now, don't get me wrong...it's great that these organizations are gaining momentum and spreading the word on issues like mental health and poverty. However, what happens when they go out of style? Where is the momentum going to be then? Every trend eventually ends. Social justice issues should not be used just as the latest trend or this years "in" item. These organizations are fighting real issues. There needs to be more information provided on these issues when they're sold, so those who purchase them know exactly what the issues are and how they can further help the cause other than buying a cute t-shirt or a trendy pair of shoes.
Look at the (RED) campaign that was sponsored by the Gap to help those affected by AIDS in Africa. After the products they were selling became less trendy, everyone lost interest. While organizations still promote the (RED) campaign in different ways, it is not nearly as talked about, and do not care nearly as much as they used to.
Of course, like all things that I dislike or complain about. I am guilty of this. I'm passionate about several social justice issues, but usually it is because something trendy came out that brought my attention to it. I own several TWLOHA shirts, a pair of TOMS, a sweatshirt and watch from HelloSomebody (http://hello-somebody.com/), a beanie from Krochet Kids (http://www.krochetkids.org/), a few bracelets from some other places, and a bag or two from another place. All of the products I bought because they were trendy and it was an added bonus that they helped some other people. With the exception of TWLOHA I know very little about different organizations I have supported through my purchases. What does that make me? A monster? No, at least I don't think so. However, something else has to be done to bring further awareness and to continue supporting and fighting these issues, because those in need who rely on these organizations don't care about trendiness. They don't care that the product is in fashion around the world or not. They just need help, in any form.
What happens here is that an organization will have a great product to either benefit those in need or to spread awareness. Word spreads, as it should, but before you know it word has been passed on that the entire purpose of the product is lost.
An example of this is the organization To Write Love on Her Arms. (info on TWLOHA can be found here) The organization started out to help fund the rehabilitation costs for Renee Yohe. T-shirts with her story and the logo "To Write Love on Her Arms" were sold and her story became known all over the country and then the world. Once Renee had overcome her addictions the organization focused on spreading awareness for depression, and mental health issues. Speaking tours and concerts were held and those who supported the cause attended. Different shirts came out and continued to sell. Selling these shirts online was not good enough, and the shirts began to sell in stores such as Hot Topic or Zumiez. Suddenly, the purpose of the shirts and the activism for the cause began to fall short. I wore a short one time and someone came up to me and said "man, I love that band". Hmm...
A current item that people all over the world are loving are the popular shoes TOMS. (info on TOMS can be found here) These shoes were created to provide shoes for a child in need. Every pair of TOMS bought will give a pair of shoes to a child in need. It's an awesome organization. However, the "cuteness" of their shoes made them little more than the latest fashion must have. Even so that designers have copied their style to only benefit them and not children in need.
Now, don't get me wrong...it's great that these organizations are gaining momentum and spreading the word on issues like mental health and poverty. However, what happens when they go out of style? Where is the momentum going to be then? Every trend eventually ends. Social justice issues should not be used just as the latest trend or this years "in" item. These organizations are fighting real issues. There needs to be more information provided on these issues when they're sold, so those who purchase them know exactly what the issues are and how they can further help the cause other than buying a cute t-shirt or a trendy pair of shoes.
Look at the (RED) campaign that was sponsored by the Gap to help those affected by AIDS in Africa. After the products they were selling became less trendy, everyone lost interest. While organizations still promote the (RED) campaign in different ways, it is not nearly as talked about, and do not care nearly as much as they used to.
Of course, like all things that I dislike or complain about. I am guilty of this. I'm passionate about several social justice issues, but usually it is because something trendy came out that brought my attention to it. I own several TWLOHA shirts, a pair of TOMS, a sweatshirt and watch from HelloSomebody (http://hello-somebody.com/), a beanie from Krochet Kids (http://www.krochetkids.org/), a few bracelets from some other places, and a bag or two from another place. All of the products I bought because they were trendy and it was an added bonus that they helped some other people. With the exception of TWLOHA I know very little about different organizations I have supported through my purchases. What does that make me? A monster? No, at least I don't think so. However, something else has to be done to bring further awareness and to continue supporting and fighting these issues, because those in need who rely on these organizations don't care about trendiness. They don't care that the product is in fashion around the world or not. They just need help, in any form.
Sunday, October 16, 2011
29 Years
Today is my parents 29th wedding anniversary. In this day and age, that's a huge deal. I never really thought so, though, until I started telling friends how long they were married around their 25th anniversary, and they thought that was so cool. After all, a majority of the families I know have gone through a divorce and a remarriage or two. The depressing statistics show us that half of marriages end in divorce, which really makes he idea of marriage even more terrifying than it already is. Committing yourself to one person forever is one thing, but then the fact that there is 50% chance that that marriage is going to fail...that doesn't give a lot of hope.
Throughout the 29 years that my parents have been married, it hasn't been all cutesy poo moments and rays of sunshine. There were a lot of fights in our house, there still are. There were even tiny moments of my childhood when I didn't understand why they didn't just get a divorce like some of my friends' parents did...it just seemed easier.
That's the thing is though...divorce is the easy out. If there is one thing my parents are, they are fighters, and they do not take the easy roads. Unless, of course the GPS tells them to, then they have to...just ask my dad.
Something that I noticed in my parents is that they are a team, they are partners. For 29 years they have supported each other through thick and thin. It wasn't always how such relations are portrayed on television, in a dramatic fashion, but they support each other and my brother and I in subtle ways. As a family we all had each others backs, because that's how my parents raised us.
My mother taught us to appreciate how hard our dad worked to support us. My father taught us to listen to my mom...because to this day, she is always right. Seriously.
They raised us to believe in a God who forgives, and loves. They raised us to appreciate everything we own. They raised us to know that grades weren't everything, that having fun was more than allowed.
The way I see family is a support system. A team. That's what my family is, and I was blessed with the best captains. They're flawed, and they don't make excuses for that. But they're partners, and they have never given up on each other or my brother and me.
Considering its all I've known, I'm not really sure how else a family successfully runs. I just know I wouldn't have it any other way.
Here's to 29 more years together, Mom and Dad.
- Candidly Catherine
Throughout the 29 years that my parents have been married, it hasn't been all cutesy poo moments and rays of sunshine. There were a lot of fights in our house, there still are. There were even tiny moments of my childhood when I didn't understand why they didn't just get a divorce like some of my friends' parents did...it just seemed easier.
That's the thing is though...divorce is the easy out. If there is one thing my parents are, they are fighters, and they do not take the easy roads. Unless, of course the GPS tells them to, then they have to...just ask my dad.
Something that I noticed in my parents is that they are a team, they are partners. For 29 years they have supported each other through thick and thin. It wasn't always how such relations are portrayed on television, in a dramatic fashion, but they support each other and my brother and I in subtle ways. As a family we all had each others backs, because that's how my parents raised us.
My mother taught us to appreciate how hard our dad worked to support us. My father taught us to listen to my mom...because to this day, she is always right. Seriously.
They raised us to believe in a God who forgives, and loves. They raised us to appreciate everything we own. They raised us to know that grades weren't everything, that having fun was more than allowed.
The way I see family is a support system. A team. That's what my family is, and I was blessed with the best captains. They're flawed, and they don't make excuses for that. But they're partners, and they have never given up on each other or my brother and me.
Considering its all I've known, I'm not really sure how else a family successfully runs. I just know I wouldn't have it any other way.
Here's to 29 more years together, Mom and Dad.
- Candidly Catherine
Wednesday, October 5, 2011
Mary Tyler Moore meet Jennifer Aniston
Did you know that Nick at Nite was still around? Me either. However, I did realize this when I heard the network was airing episodes of Fresh Prince of Bel Air a year or so ago. When I heard this I was surprised, but just figured that it was a natural part of life. Cest la vie.
About a month ago, however, it was brought to my attention that the 90s sitcom about 6 lifelong friends, aptly named "Friends" would have it's reruns aired on Nick at Nite. Suddenly I became offended. At 22 I realize that I am not that old. I'm not a teenager and I need to deal with being called an adult instead of a kid or a college student. However, I am also not old enough that shows I grew up on are to be replayed for the next generation. Nick at Nite is rushing the natural course of life...that you hit a certain acceptable point that your childhood TV shows can be put on late night cable television.
I spent many summers when I was younger watching shows on Nick at Nite that were long before my generation. These shows included the wholesome goodness and classic comedy that never gets old like Green Acres, I Dream of Genie, Mary Tyler Moore, and of course the Brady Bunch. I am no prude, but there was something nice seeing the wholesome untainted humor that these shows had. Plus, when something sexual was brought up they used the hilariousness of the innuendo, which makes it about 10 times funnier...instead of just coming right out and making a penis joke.
Watching these older shows was also a little history lesson for me...I saw a couple have 2 separate beds, which caused me to ask my parents why. They then explained that television shows weren't allowed to show a man and a woman share a bed...regardless if they were married. This then caused me to ask why.
What are the kids who watch Friends on Nick at Nite going to ask? Why is Joey so stupid?
They could just turn on CBS and watch How I Met Your Mother, because, let's be serious...they're virtually the same show. Just replace the coffee shop with the bar and BAM.
I guess I just don't want to admit that Friends has been off the air for quite some time now and that it is an "older" show, worthy to be placed in TV retirement (Nick at Nite). Or maybe I also have to admit that the older shows from the 60s would never be considered acceptable to watch in this day and age...womp.
- Candidly Catherine
Thursday, September 29, 2011
Friday, September 23, 2011
Wow...
There's something really sickening about this. 1 in 4 children of the Scranton area. An average part of the united states to say the least...
Another rainy day
Once again NEPA is hit with another grey cloud...happy first day of fall.
So long summer. We had a good, sunny, run.
Tuesday, September 20, 2011
All is Lost. Hope Remains.
For those that have not heard, and I would expect there are probably a lot of you...Northeast PA and NY state were greatly affected by recent flooding. By I mean greatly I mean severely. It was not Katrina size damage, but for this part of the United States, an area that is not normally used to natural disasters and the like...it was pretty devastating.
When I had first heard about the flooding and the damage it had done to the area, I had wanted to help in any way possible. I am currently residing in Scranton, PA which, although not affected by the flooding, is surrounded by towns that were severely affected. This is my new community and I wanted to do something to help. However, like with any natural disaster, it is hard to know where to even begin. Things like this do so much damage and it's hard to know where or how to help. Like, what usually is the case, I just kept the people affected by it in my prayers, and hoped that something would come up that would allow me to assist.
Of course, because my life is perfect (jokes)...something did come up. One of my roommates received an email about an elderly couple that needed some help moving some things out of their house and cleaning up their property so four of us took our Saturday morning to go and see what we could do.
They lived in a cabin right on the water overlooking a gorgeous waterfall. In their backyard was a dumpster and hundreds of their belongings just lying in the grass, covered in mud. An older man named Herb told us to start taking the stuff in the yard and throwing it in the dumpster. Among these belongings were old videotapes, photo albums, books, and other sort of treasures that this couple had saved throughout their forty years of marriage.
When you think about it is just stuff. We think they are priceless treasures, but it does come down to just stuff. However, this couple has saved them and at some point in time they represented a great deal of importance to them. They were memories, good and bad. They were special occasions. They were history.
We spent an entire Saturday taking this couple's collected mud covered memories and moving them into the dumpster. The wife was so thankful that we could help, and I was grateful to have the opportunity.
However, the entire time I could not imagine if this had happened to my house. My family, like this couple, keeps everything. We have old family photos, old memorabilia from little league, books, and every other thing we haven't looked at in years but can't part without, because it is still all sitting happily in my basement.
If a flood were to come sweeping through northern New Jersey and take all of this from my house, ruining it, and scattering it across my lawn: I would be devastated. It is unimaginable for me.
I associate natural disasters with people like Herb and his wife, because I don't personally know them and throwing out their belongings was sad, but manageable...they were not my memories I was throwing out.
A few days later I checked in with a friend from Binghamton, NY and see how her family made out with the flooding. She informed me that her family lost their house.
Suddenly the disaster was closer to me than I had ever thought. It was not just an elderly couple who I had no ties to who lost everything. It was a friend who had always had a stable home and life and suddenly, with one bad rainstorm...lost all her childhood memories.
Naturally, I wanted to help again, but how do you replace the irreplaceable? How do you help someone who has lost everything?
In truth the things that these people have lost are just that...things. They are stuff that we put in basements, say we can't live without, but forget were ever there until we realize they are gone.
Both families who have lost their possessions still have their family, they still have relationships, and more importantly...from all that...they have hope.
When we have community and relationships we can rebuild, we can modify our lifestyles. Losing everything is so unimaginable because we stress so much importance on materials and things. When we lose things from our past, we feel as if we lose our entire memories. However, when we have family, community, and other relationships...we can make more memories.
Just like the elderly couple: we can rebuild.
It's hard to do that, we don't know where to begin. Just like my community who so desperately wanted to help out those around us we don't know where to begin with rebuilding our whole lives.
I can't really imagine losing everything my family owns. I don't know the loss and pain that must feel like. However, I have seen those who have be gracious and humbled by this loss and realize the most important thing: they still have each other, and there's still hope to move on and grow.
Friday, September 9, 2011
Wait, Something Happened Ten Years Ago This Week?
I'm about to say something pretty crazy, and ya'll will probably severely judge me for what's about to be typed...but, really, if I have to see one more headline that discusses the ten year anniversary of 9/11 approaching this weekend, I will shoot myself.
Okay, maybe not shoot myself, but I will continue to get pissed as hell...as I have been lately.
Is this a little over dramatic? Probably, but bear with me for a little bit.
So I am one of those ever so trendy people with an iPad and a smartphone. Yes, so snobby of me, I know. However, this also means that I am just 5 seconds and a tap away from the latest news, which normally is great. I find out all the latest world news. Normally, when I read the news on my iPad I feel so intellectual. Of course, I am...I am a college grad after all.
Instead of reading about the issues in Somalia, the current economic crisis in our own country, or who exactly hit Reese Witherspoon when she was jogging. All that is being covered is different coverage of the ten year anniversary of 9/11.
How insensitive is this of me? Rereading this I am slightly cringing that I am writing this, but it is actually how I feel and not just me trying to be controversial. Is there something wrong with me for not wanting to hear the stories of different peoples take on that day?
I don't think I am a terrible person, to be honest. I remember exactly where I was that day, just like any other person in the world that fateful day. I was in 7th grade and a prime victim of what many have been calling the "9/11 generation". I am from Northern New Jersey...a prime target for those that were deeply affected by the attacks on 9/11. My father was in New York City that day. I attended funerals, and memorial services. Friends of mine were never the same. People I know went off to fight the war on terror; a family friend left his new baby and wife behind, never to return from that war.
I have emotions for 9/11. I have deep emotions that I have carried with me since that Tuesday morning that my guidance counselor pulled me out of gym class; emotions that I will carry with me for the rest of my life. I know everyone has a story from that day. Some stories are extremely courageous. Some extremely sad. Other stories are very mundane. They saw the news, were very disturbed, but did not know anyone and were not severely affected. While reading these stories can be encouraging, uplifting or inspirational...I have my own story. I look upon that day with reverence and thanksgiving that my father and family was safe. I also look upon that day and get the stereotypical feeling of nationalism that many have forgotten. I felt united to my country, an emotion I have not felt since in my short lifetime.
While seeing these news stories remind me that my generation was so severely affected by 9/11 more than others: it is also unnecessary. I know my "9/11 generation" missed out on the things that others before us had experienced and that we acclimated and became used to things that those after us never even knew about (traveling without TSA going crazy? without the name Bin Laden in our dictionary).
My generation grew up with bigotry towards the entire religion of Islam. My generation pioneered a campaign of conspiracy theories about that 9/11. (Seriously if you want 2 quick ways to piss me off...do one of those). When we see the opening credits to old movies that highlight the NYC skyline and see the twin towers...we cringe a little bit.
Ten years after that day...I honestly do not need to be reminded of that pain. I want to be reminded of that reverence and thanksgiving that I felt on that actual day. I also, most importantly, want to be reminded of that patriotism I felt after that day: the unity and respect of my country. As a nation, if all we are reporting on is the past, how are we showing that we have grown since 9/11? We know how changed we are. We know how bad that day was and the long term effects. What have we done to keep that patriotism? Are we even trying?
Almost eleven years ago this January a very dear and close family friend of mine, Ruth Lauto, died. She was an older lady that we called Aunt Ruth and had an extreme passion for life. She was, at 12 years old, my hero. Everything about her life, I loved. It was the highlight of my day being able to see her. Her death was very sudden for me. It rocked my twelve year old life. I was never the same after that, and I never will be the same. However, ten years later I look upon the life of my Aunt Ruth with a smile. I remember her and my time with her fondly.
I refuse to dwell on her death.
I refuse to dwell on 9/11.
My life changed that day. Everyone I know was changed. Instead of taking this anniversary with grace, dignity and reverence we are playing the "woe is me" card as a nation. Our news outlets and media are whining that the memorial planned at ground zero isn't good enough (which, I agree it really isn't). The only thing being discussed is how much we have sucked over the past ten years and how much my generation has sucked and how much the war sucks and how much our bigotry against Islam sucks (basically, ten years later all we have seemed to do is suck...a lot). We are analyzing recordings from air traffic control and creating MORE conspiracy theories. "Where are they now?" publications about children who lost parents in the tragedy are being published.
In true American fashion: everyone is making a buck out of the worst event in our generations time.
What happened to the reverence of that day? What happened to the unity we had as Americans?
I will be spending this coming Sunday in a church, getting ready for religious education classes to begin, because that is my job. I am attending a mass where there will be a moment of silence, and no doubt the homily will be focused around the events that occurred ten years ago. I will pray for those that lost their lives that day. I will remember being able to take a short drive and see the smoke cloud. I will remember my mother's face as she told me what happened. I will remember her voice as she answered countless phone calls from friends and family of my father wondering how he was/where he was. I will remember attending a funeral for the father of a friend.
Then...I will smile.
On September 10th 2001, I think the 12 year old version of myself wanted to be some big shot writer. Maybe the next JK Rowling. Maybe write a screenplay. I don't know. I am pretty sure I just wanted to make a lot of money and live in one of the pretty mansions that covered the landscape of my small northern New Jersey town.
On September 10th 2011 I am writing from an old house in Scranton, PA in the midst of my year of service as a Jesuit Volunteer. I am making under $100 per month. I live in community with 4 other volunteers. What does 22 year old me want to do with my life? I can't fully answer that quite yet...but I know my main goal is that I want to make the world a better place. I want to help others. I am not sure how to accomplish that yet...but I know that is what I have wanted to do since September 12th, 2001.
That is how I have positively grown in these past ten years.
How has the United States positively grown?
Where are the news articles about that?
I may be pretty insensitive for writing this, I realize. However, I think we need some positiveness surrounding this weekend.
After all, I did just read an article on my iPad that the "9//11 generation" suffers high rates of depression and cynicism.
Okay, maybe not shoot myself, but I will continue to get pissed as hell...as I have been lately.
Is this a little over dramatic? Probably, but bear with me for a little bit.
So I am one of those ever so trendy people with an iPad and a smartphone. Yes, so snobby of me, I know. However, this also means that I am just 5 seconds and a tap away from the latest news, which normally is great. I find out all the latest world news. Normally, when I read the news on my iPad I feel so intellectual. Of course, I am...I am a college grad after all.
Instead of reading about the issues in Somalia, the current economic crisis in our own country, or who exactly hit Reese Witherspoon when she was jogging. All that is being covered is different coverage of the ten year anniversary of 9/11.
How insensitive is this of me? Rereading this I am slightly cringing that I am writing this, but it is actually how I feel and not just me trying to be controversial. Is there something wrong with me for not wanting to hear the stories of different peoples take on that day?
I don't think I am a terrible person, to be honest. I remember exactly where I was that day, just like any other person in the world that fateful day. I was in 7th grade and a prime victim of what many have been calling the "9/11 generation". I am from Northern New Jersey...a prime target for those that were deeply affected by the attacks on 9/11. My father was in New York City that day. I attended funerals, and memorial services. Friends of mine were never the same. People I know went off to fight the war on terror; a family friend left his new baby and wife behind, never to return from that war.
I have emotions for 9/11. I have deep emotions that I have carried with me since that Tuesday morning that my guidance counselor pulled me out of gym class; emotions that I will carry with me for the rest of my life. I know everyone has a story from that day. Some stories are extremely courageous. Some extremely sad. Other stories are very mundane. They saw the news, were very disturbed, but did not know anyone and were not severely affected. While reading these stories can be encouraging, uplifting or inspirational...I have my own story. I look upon that day with reverence and thanksgiving that my father and family was safe. I also look upon that day and get the stereotypical feeling of nationalism that many have forgotten. I felt united to my country, an emotion I have not felt since in my short lifetime.
While seeing these news stories remind me that my generation was so severely affected by 9/11 more than others: it is also unnecessary. I know my "9/11 generation" missed out on the things that others before us had experienced and that we acclimated and became used to things that those after us never even knew about (traveling without TSA going crazy? without the name Bin Laden in our dictionary).
My generation grew up with bigotry towards the entire religion of Islam. My generation pioneered a campaign of conspiracy theories about that 9/11. (Seriously if you want 2 quick ways to piss me off...do one of those). When we see the opening credits to old movies that highlight the NYC skyline and see the twin towers...we cringe a little bit.
Ten years after that day...I honestly do not need to be reminded of that pain. I want to be reminded of that reverence and thanksgiving that I felt on that actual day. I also, most importantly, want to be reminded of that patriotism I felt after that day: the unity and respect of my country. As a nation, if all we are reporting on is the past, how are we showing that we have grown since 9/11? We know how changed we are. We know how bad that day was and the long term effects. What have we done to keep that patriotism? Are we even trying?
Almost eleven years ago this January a very dear and close family friend of mine, Ruth Lauto, died. She was an older lady that we called Aunt Ruth and had an extreme passion for life. She was, at 12 years old, my hero. Everything about her life, I loved. It was the highlight of my day being able to see her. Her death was very sudden for me. It rocked my twelve year old life. I was never the same after that, and I never will be the same. However, ten years later I look upon the life of my Aunt Ruth with a smile. I remember her and my time with her fondly.
I refuse to dwell on her death.
I refuse to dwell on 9/11.
My life changed that day. Everyone I know was changed. Instead of taking this anniversary with grace, dignity and reverence we are playing the "woe is me" card as a nation. Our news outlets and media are whining that the memorial planned at ground zero isn't good enough (which, I agree it really isn't). The only thing being discussed is how much we have sucked over the past ten years and how much my generation has sucked and how much the war sucks and how much our bigotry against Islam sucks (basically, ten years later all we have seemed to do is suck...a lot). We are analyzing recordings from air traffic control and creating MORE conspiracy theories. "Where are they now?" publications about children who lost parents in the tragedy are being published.
In true American fashion: everyone is making a buck out of the worst event in our generations time.
What happened to the reverence of that day? What happened to the unity we had as Americans?
I will be spending this coming Sunday in a church, getting ready for religious education classes to begin, because that is my job. I am attending a mass where there will be a moment of silence, and no doubt the homily will be focused around the events that occurred ten years ago. I will pray for those that lost their lives that day. I will remember being able to take a short drive and see the smoke cloud. I will remember my mother's face as she told me what happened. I will remember her voice as she answered countless phone calls from friends and family of my father wondering how he was/where he was. I will remember attending a funeral for the father of a friend.
Then...I will smile.
On September 10th 2001, I think the 12 year old version of myself wanted to be some big shot writer. Maybe the next JK Rowling. Maybe write a screenplay. I don't know. I am pretty sure I just wanted to make a lot of money and live in one of the pretty mansions that covered the landscape of my small northern New Jersey town.
On September 10th 2011 I am writing from an old house in Scranton, PA in the midst of my year of service as a Jesuit Volunteer. I am making under $100 per month. I live in community with 4 other volunteers. What does 22 year old me want to do with my life? I can't fully answer that quite yet...but I know my main goal is that I want to make the world a better place. I want to help others. I am not sure how to accomplish that yet...but I know that is what I have wanted to do since September 12th, 2001.
That is how I have positively grown in these past ten years.
How has the United States positively grown?
Where are the news articles about that?
I may be pretty insensitive for writing this, I realize. However, I think we need some positiveness surrounding this weekend.
After all, I did just read an article on my iPad that the "9//11 generation" suffers high rates of depression and cynicism.
Thursday, September 8, 2011
(Lack of) Separation of Church and State?
Note: This post is a little heavy in Christianity and faith, because it is what I'm currently reading a lot about. Other posts won't be, but some others will...just a heads up because I know that's not everyone's cup of tea.
With another election coming up the news is flooded with stories and fun facts about prospective candidates. Mainly the circus that was formerly known as the Republicans. Why is it a circus? There are obvious jabs that can be made at Michele Bachmann and Rick Perry for their...well let's face it craziness. (Seriously, the things that come out of their mouths make Sarah Palin look like Abraham Lincoln).
However, there's an unsettling issue I have with the current state of politics and that is the way that religion is used in our political realm. Last I checked it was the Republican party not the Christian party.
Those two words have transformed into synonyms over the last twenty years, unfortunately. Where it started? I suppose we can blame Reagan, that is easy enough. Reagan might have began a trend to intertwine our religion with our politics, but he certainly did not perfect it. Religion has always been a part of our politics though, going back to our found fathers. However, they also established the rule of separation between church and state: a vital part of our identity as Americans.
I, personally, don't think it's necessarily politicians who have made this a real problem. In reality, Christians have embraced politics and political agendas, absorbing them into the Christian church's mission. This is not any denomination either. In fact all denominations use political "morals" as a stepping stone into their own "morals". Suddenly you are not a "proper" Christian if you do not vote a certain way or believe in a certain politician.
My question is a simple one: What does faith and belief in Jesus Christ have to do with politics?
My answer is simple as well: Nothing at all.
We have limited our Christian morality to two issues: abortion and gay rights. These are, granted, important issues that Christians of every denomination grapple with on a daily basis. However, what happened to the most important mission that Jesus called us all to do? To love your neighbor.
Politics have caused us to put a distance between "us and them". A mindset of you are either for us or against. Your politics either coincide with our so called "morality" or against.
I am currently reading Donald Miller's "Searching For God Knows What" where he discusses this topic in his chapter entitled "Morality". (To be honest I stole his idea of the fact that we have limited our morality between gay rights and abortion...it's a good point, let's be honest). Miller argues that Christians are not using Christ's language to live their life, but, instead, raging an unnecessary culture war.
We are throwing stones at whoever does not fit our mold of Christianity. Is it just my imagination or wasn't there some little story in a little book about throwing stones? Hmm...guess that's just in my head.
Miller puts it best:
Jesus did not lend Himself to war causes, to tax issues, or political campaigns. For that matter, He did not lend Himself to raising money for education or stumping for affirmative action. It was as if He did not trust us to build a utopia. He kept it very simple, in fact. "Follow Me" He said. "I have no opinion about what the color of this prison should be. Follow Me."
Maybe, instead of listening to what Bachmann, Perry and whatever the latest clown in the circus are "preaching" from their makeshift pulpit, Christians should follow Jesus first.
With another election coming up the news is flooded with stories and fun facts about prospective candidates. Mainly the circus that was formerly known as the Republicans. Why is it a circus? There are obvious jabs that can be made at Michele Bachmann and Rick Perry for their...well let's face it craziness. (Seriously, the things that come out of their mouths make Sarah Palin look like Abraham Lincoln).
However, there's an unsettling issue I have with the current state of politics and that is the way that religion is used in our political realm. Last I checked it was the Republican party not the Christian party.
Those two words have transformed into synonyms over the last twenty years, unfortunately. Where it started? I suppose we can blame Reagan, that is easy enough. Reagan might have began a trend to intertwine our religion with our politics, but he certainly did not perfect it. Religion has always been a part of our politics though, going back to our found fathers. However, they also established the rule of separation between church and state: a vital part of our identity as Americans.
I, personally, don't think it's necessarily politicians who have made this a real problem. In reality, Christians have embraced politics and political agendas, absorbing them into the Christian church's mission. This is not any denomination either. In fact all denominations use political "morals" as a stepping stone into their own "morals". Suddenly you are not a "proper" Christian if you do not vote a certain way or believe in a certain politician.
My question is a simple one: What does faith and belief in Jesus Christ have to do with politics?
My answer is simple as well: Nothing at all.
We have limited our Christian morality to two issues: abortion and gay rights. These are, granted, important issues that Christians of every denomination grapple with on a daily basis. However, what happened to the most important mission that Jesus called us all to do? To love your neighbor.
Politics have caused us to put a distance between "us and them". A mindset of you are either for us or against. Your politics either coincide with our so called "morality" or against.
I am currently reading Donald Miller's "Searching For God Knows What" where he discusses this topic in his chapter entitled "Morality". (To be honest I stole his idea of the fact that we have limited our morality between gay rights and abortion...it's a good point, let's be honest). Miller argues that Christians are not using Christ's language to live their life, but, instead, raging an unnecessary culture war.
We are throwing stones at whoever does not fit our mold of Christianity. Is it just my imagination or wasn't there some little story in a little book about throwing stones? Hmm...guess that's just in my head.
Miller puts it best:
Jesus did not lend Himself to war causes, to tax issues, or political campaigns. For that matter, He did not lend Himself to raising money for education or stumping for affirmative action. It was as if He did not trust us to build a utopia. He kept it very simple, in fact. "Follow Me" He said. "I have no opinion about what the color of this prison should be. Follow Me."
Maybe, instead of listening to what Bachmann, Perry and whatever the latest clown in the circus are "preaching" from their makeshift pulpit, Christians should follow Jesus first.
Wednesday, September 7, 2011
The Return of the opinions column
Throughout my four years at Saint Joseph's University I had an opinions column which I cleverly entitled "Candidly Catherine" (yes, I realize this resembles a porno name, or something along those lines). Writing every so often for the humble "Hawk" newspaper: I never really expected to grow attached to my little column. I also never really expected anyone to read it; even more so care about my opinions. Well, the unthinkable happened: I grew attached and people actually read my column.
I decided to bring back the column, in the ever so cliche blog form. There is no theme to this blog. Sure, I could bore everyone to tears about my everyday struggles of living in community and simply as a Jesuit Volunteer for the year in Scranton, PA (which I am sure I will bring up very often). But I won't. I also won't use this blog to reach some goal and learn something about myself along the way...can you say cheesy and no one gives a crap?
Maybe someone will read this, maybe no one will. Either way...I don't really care. The recent college grad sappy me just missed some ties to my old college life.
Hopefully I don't piss off the same amount of people I did when I wrote for the college newspaper. (Sorry about that, again)
I decided to bring back the column, in the ever so cliche blog form. There is no theme to this blog. Sure, I could bore everyone to tears about my everyday struggles of living in community and simply as a Jesuit Volunteer for the year in Scranton, PA (which I am sure I will bring up very often). But I won't. I also won't use this blog to reach some goal and learn something about myself along the way...can you say cheesy and no one gives a crap?
Maybe someone will read this, maybe no one will. Either way...I don't really care. The recent college grad sappy me just missed some ties to my old college life.
Hopefully I don't piss off the same amount of people I did when I wrote for the college newspaper. (Sorry about that, again)
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